Owner's Guide to the Cyril Bot 20
by FlowerofAdversity
Summary: Inspired by other 'owner's guides' to robots based off characters in other series, I thought it was high time Cyril got his due. I mean, who knows, if it were possible, wouldn't you want a Cyril-bot ?


Owner's Guide to the Cyril Bot 2.0

Congratulations on purchasing a state-of-the art Cyril Bot 2.0. Unlike the previous Cyril Bot, this one doesn't blow a gasket or go ballistic at the mention of the word 'raccoons'. Another word that caused the Cyril Bot to malfunction is 'decrease' or any negative inclination of money or the opposite of abundance. There are some cons to Cyril Bot 2.0. Firstly, it smokes like a chimney stack. If you are one that is offended by such actions, he will comply to your sentencing him to the porch or backyard to smoke away from you but other than that, smoking should be no trouble.

Cyril Bot 2.0 is like the original Cyril Sneer down to the last detail. He is generally easy to care for. So long as he is kept around a steady supply of money, no matter how small, he will be perfectly happy. Also a shoulder rub seems to do him good if he seems stressed out by the day's daily fortune counting. If you have money to account for, he will keep it in grand order. If you have this Bot by your side, you'll never have to fret about keeping your affairs in order ever again.

The only other cons concerning Cyril Bot 2.0 is it tends to be greedy. If you are making a profit and Cyril feels it is intentionally his money, he'll be so kind as to take it right from under your nose and lie to you about it without you even knowing it. Also, take heed in saying the word 'pigs' within earshot or having anything porcine related in your household. Pork products _should _be safe. As far as I am aware, Cyril Bot can process any type of food but doesn't necessarily need to be fed. The only input he needs is electrical.

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General Commands

Run: Cyril can think for himself once he is initiated. If you have financial issues, there is another category for such a thing.

Account: This command deals with all matters capital.

Music: Cyril Bot 2.0 comes with saxophone, which Cyril can play sensationally.

Dance: Not many people know this, save for true fans of Cyril's 'romantic' side, but he can dance a mean tango. He is adept at ballroom dance.

Sing: Not a command you want to use too commonly. Doesn't carry a tune well.

Gloat: Basically it is what it is.

Security: Will keep you secure in the event of a robbery, but more likely will probably keep his own money secure.

Advice: Whatever advice, financial, social, political, fashion, musical you may need, Cyril has an opinion for _everything_.

Negotiate/Schmooze: These two commands can come in extremely effectively when dealing with business types, especially ones with power/clout. This has to be the 2.0's strongest suit. Use when applicable, don't overuse or robot could overheat.

Shut Down: Only use in case of emergency, which shouldn't be an issue. If there is, there is a full money back guarantee.

Other Matters to Consider:

Cyril is also perfectly at home around dogs. If you have cats though, I wouldn't recommend them being in the same room as he is, he might take a swat at them or kick them aside. Dogs, on the other hand, are perfectly safe, except if he is in a particularly foul mood. If so, then guard your dog with eagle vision.

Give Cyril Bot plenty of room for pacing. He performs this action repeatedly when scheming, debating, plotting, etc. Take in mind if you are a very attractive woman, no matter what your age. Cyril _will_ hit on you, no questions asked. Once he is smitten, there is no turning back. So if you are looking for a mate that will not leave you, then this beauty is a keeper. And what's even better is he'll help you keep your paychecks balanced.

Cyril Bot can also tend to be paternal around children, which is a lesser known fact considering his personality. If you don't mind that sort of affection then by all means, bask in it. The only con is if you do something that Cyril deems as 'foolish' he won't beat around the bush telling you what you did wrong and why.

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There you have it, dear owner. Best of all luck with your Cyril Bot 2.0 ! And also, remember…if you take care of your Cyril Bot 2.0, he will take care of you.


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